New Year’s Resolutions 2014

  1. Learn how to count alcohol units. Reduce alcohol to merely ‘moderate’ levels. Keep a drink diary for four weeks. Cease candour in relation to alcohol units consumed with GP.
  2. Buy no more art. Walls full, bank balance depleted.
  3. Stop arguing with cab drivers, particularly around directions. Commission pamphlets with preferred routes from home to (i) Work (ii) Ku (iii) The NLC (+ return journeys). For convenience and to avoid repetition, include a list of ‘Do’s and Don’ts’.
  4. Register projector warranty. Arrange for infrared receiver to be repaired.
  5. Replace bathroom door and lock mechanism entirely. Commence phased repair and rectification programme of semi-permanent damage done to rented flat.
  6. Invest in a new dressing gown.
  7. Complete digitisation of all paperwork by the end of January.
  8. Look into learning to free dance. Avoid looking like a thunderbird with a weak bladder.
  9. Go camping a minimum of six times. (In a tent.)
  10. Request for a non-traditional haircut twice a year one of which may include sides shortened with clippers.
  11. Clear out childhood bedroom. Be brutal.
  12. Commence a moisturising regime. Consult a skincare specialist for advice in advance.
  13. Repair and fully restore pocket watch damaged at Los Angeles Airport irrespective of cost effectiveness.
  14. Donate / dispose of (as appropriate) of all clothes not used since September 2012.
  15. Rationalise calculator collection. One per room is sufficient. Four per room is excessive. Find a home for the remainder.
  16. Limit charitable donations to 5% of gross notional salary.
  17. Reduce body weight by ten kilograms.
  18. Visit South America. Do not visit India.
  19. Review case for getting rid of home telephone.
     
  20. Eat out a maximum of four times per week. (Excl. ‘standard’ lunches, Incl. extravagant lunches). Set maximum food delivery of one per week. Set a budget for eating out per week of 12% of gross notional salary.
  21. Restrict hire car / hackney carriage usage to rolling average of 30% of local travel. Keep a tracker including all such usage.
     
  22. Master picking of (i) rim cylinder, (ii) euro profile cylinder and (iii) disc tumbler locks.
  23. One day per week, do not wear a shirt. Invest in a collection of tasteful T-shirts to compensate. Similarly consider casual footwear.
  24. Audit freezer, spare cable and over the counter medicines stocks on a monthly basis. Dispose of all which are unnecessary / excessively outdated.
  25. Join a London Chess Club. Establish a regular board-gaming night.
  26. Summon up the courage to phone Virgin and tolerate their feckless foreign call centre and cancel the majority of the TV channels which I’ve neither explored no wish to.
  27. Enjoy a minimum of eighteen deep tissue back massages throughout the year.
  28. Take two solid weeks holiday and go somewhere relaxing. Not cultural. Not ‘interesting’. Relaxing.
One comment
  1. Resolution # Score Notes
    1 1 Yes
    2 0 No
    3 0.5 Half
    4 0 No
    5 1 Yes
    6 1 Yes
    7 0.5 Half
    8 1 Yes
    9 0 No
    10 0 No
    11 1 Yes
    12 1 Yes
    13 0 No
    14 1 Yes
    15 0 No
    16 0 No
    17 0.5 5 of 10kg
    18 0.5 Didn’t visit either.
    19 1 Yes
    20 0 No
    21 1 Yes
    22 0 No
    23 1 Yes
    24 1 Yes
    25 0 No
    26 1 Yes
    27 1 Yes
    28 1 Yes

    16 / 28
    57%

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